The Art That I Love

I am extremely lucky to have been able to visit many amazing art museums. My absolute favorite artist is Gustav Klimt and my favorite painting is The Kiss (Der Kuss), which can be seen at the Österreichische Galerie Belvedere at the Belvedere Palace in Vienna, Austria. The Belvedere Palace houses the world's largest Gustav Klimt collection. I will never forget how I felt when I walked into the room where The Kiss is displayed. Don't judge me, but there were tears.

I have been to the Dragon's Den in Cracow, Poland. I could have easily lived forever at the Rijksmuseum or the Van Gogh Museum, both in Amsterdam. That was the art that I dreamed of. The art that inspired me in color and broken brush strokes.

This is my art of today.

Dinosaurs with orange spikes hanging out in the sun. (This one is even signed by the artist!)

Portraits. (Can you guess which one is me?)

And art that is accompanied by rousing stories of Super Secret Agent Penguins that are protecting the ice cream of the world. (This picture was stolen from Breuklyn's diary that was inadvertently left in the living room. I promised that I wouldn't tell the ending of the story to anyone.)

I love the art of my little world.

Otherwise Known as a Mohawk

This is Maddux. This is Maddux with his beloved Mo-Hog. I guess that it would be more of a Faux-Hog, but you get the point.

Tarnations!

While browsing the flower selection at our grocery store yesterday, Breuklyn and I were discussing the pros and cons of the different flowers. I love tulips. They are my ultimate favorite flower. Breuklyn thought that the pale pink carnations were the best.

"Really?" I asked, "Those are the flowers that you would choose out of all of these? There are lilies, roses, tulips, gladiolas, alstroemerias, Gerbera daisies and even daffodils. Don't you think that anything would be better than those super lame flowers?"

"No." she said firmly "I like the tarnations the very best."

My redneck in-laws would be so proud.

My Self-Esteem is Fantastic Today, Thanks for Asking

Reason #1 :
(Playing a game with Maddux and Paizlee in the car while waiting for Breuklyn)
Me: What do cows says?
Kids: MOOOOOOOOO
Me: What do cats say?
Kids: MEE-OOOOWWWW
Me: What do monsters say?
Kids: Grrrr!!
Me: What does Mommy say?
Maddux: Don't touch that!!!!!

Reason #2 :
(I hate that manufacturers make low-rise jeans for little girls, it is insane)
Me: Breuklyn, you have got to pull your pants up. I can see your underbumps.
Breuklyn: (whines) I can't help it!
Me: Well, just pull them up. Just enough so that I can't see the Disney Princesses ballooned out over the top of your jeans.
Breuklyn: (Pulls her pants practically up to her armpits) There!
Me: Ummmm...
Breuklyn: What's wrong? That's how you wear them!

Sooooo... according to my kids, I say stereotypical mom things and wear mom jeans? Sigh.

Maddux Says + Winners!

Overheard this evening:

Breuklyn: Maddux! We should build a super secret fort in your room. Just for kids, no grown-ups.

Maddux: Yes! And we should turn off the 'lectricity and use the dark-tricity instead because then we can use flashlights!

And...

Lal (I will convince you to love glitter!), Melissa S and Susan are the winners of the Pink Paislee Pixee Stix! YAY!!! Send me an email: EsteeLynn (at) gmail.com and I will mail them to you on Monday. (and let me know if you have a color preference!)

Have a great weekend everyone! Anything fun planned?

If Kindergarteners Ruled the World...

... Barack Obama would be President.

Breuklyn informed me on the way home that her Kindergarten class voted today. Barack Obama was the winner, 10-8. When I asked her which person she voted for, she told me,

"I picked Rock Bama because I think he has a really cool name. Oh, and because he believes everyone should be able to go to doctor and it shouldn't cost lots and lots of money."

That's why I voted for him too, well, sort of.

Maddux's Favorite Joke

(Courtesy of BB, my college roommate)

Me: Oh, Maddux! Knock Knock!!
Maddux: Who's there? (starts giggling already)
Me: Impatient Cow
Maddux: Impatient Co-----
Me: (interrupting him) MOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Maddux then collapses in giggles. It is so easy to entertain him.

He's Leaving on a Jet Plane... or Maybe Not

Maddux: Mommy? Can we go for a drive?
Me: Well, that depends on where you want to go.
Maddux: I want to go to the airport.
Me: You want to drive all the way to Nashville?
Maddux: Is Nashville where the airport lives?
Me: Yes.
Maddux: Yes, I want to go to Nashville. (mumbles) I need my shoes.

- He wanders off to find his shoes -

Me: Um, Maddux? Why do you need to go to the airport?
Maddux: Because I want to see Groggee, Grandpa and Aunt Murray.
Me: You want to fly to their house? You have never been on a plane before.
Maddux: Why do I have to be in an airplane?
Me: Uh, well, because an airplane would take you to their house.
Maddux: But they live at the airport, duh. (insert dramatic eye roll here) Do you think Groggee has toys there or should we bring some of mine?

My poor, poor child thinks that his relatives live at the airport.

The 3-year-old Boy Anti-Kiss Campaign

Since Breuklyn is in Kindergarten it gives Maddux a little more airtime for his conversations.

Heard in the car today:

Maddux: Mommy? Where does Grandpa live?
Me: He lives in Virginia, with Groggee.
Maddux: Why does he live with Groggee?
Me: He is married to Groggee, so he gets to live with her. Just like Mommy and Daddy.

-silence as he thinks it over-

Maddux: I want to get married.
Me: Today? We're kind of busy today.
Maddux: I want to marry Breuklyn.
Me: You're kind of not allowed.
Maddux: Yes, I am. I am 3-years-old and I can do lots of stuff.
Me: Fair enough.

-sings a little song about how being 3 is the best... Best... BEST!-

Maddux: Oh, wait.
Me: Having second thoughts?
Maddux: I don't want to kiss her. Kisses are yuck. That's why I can't marry you. You give too many kisses.
Me: You don't like kisses?
Maddux: I am 3-years-old, remember? 3-year-old boys don't like kisses.
Me: Oh. I like to give you kisses.
Maddux: You can kiss my ear. But, that's it. Only one ear. OK?
Me: You drive a hard bargain, my friend, but I will agree to only kiss one ear.

-sings a little song about how kisses are yuck... Yuck... YUCK!-

Maddux: I guess we can get married then. You have to tell daddy.
Me: No worries, I'll text him.

- continues the yuck... Yuck... YUCK! song -

The Halloween Costume Tango

- Conversation at the dinner table -

Estee: Breuklyn, don't you want to be something a little warmer than a princess? All of the costumes are so flimsy, you'll be cold.

Breuklyn: No way. I want to be a princess.

Brad: You should be something scary. Like a ghost!

Breuklyn: Dad. That's not funny. I want to be Ariel. Mermaids are the best.

Estee: Haley is going to be a cat, you should be a cat! Or what about a witch? I found the cutest witch costume. It has a hat, that's cool... right?

Brad: You should be a vampire. Vampires are awesome.

Breuklyn: Vampires are not cool. They live at baseball games, that isn't cool.

Estee: Ok, wait a minute... what?

Breuklyn: I don't even like baseball.

- Blank stares between me and Brad, then... -

Estee: An umpire?

Breuklyn: That's what I said. Umpires don't wear tiaras. And I don't like baseball.

Brad: You really can't argue with that.

The Smartest Kid in the Class

Breuklyn: Mom, I have a new friend and he is the smartest kid in the class.

Me: Oh, yeah? Who is your new friend?

B: His name is Noah.

M: That sounds like a nice name. Is he in your class?

B: Yes, but he doesn't sit at my table. He sits at the red table with Luke.

M: So, why is Noah is the smartest?

B: (Looking incredulous) Um, because his name says so.

M: (Stares blankly)

B: (Rolling her eyes) Mom! His name is Noah. He knows everything. Get it? He know-ahs everything.

M: Wow. You Kindergartners really do know everything.

B: My name should have been Noah.

Squash... it's what's for dinner.

Friday is grocery shopping day at my house. I drop Breuklyn off at school and then embark on one full hour of trying to remember everything on my shopping list while simultaneously trying to not flatten Maddux with the grocery cart and he darts in and out of my path. Fun times.

Today we went to a different grocery store since I stalked down everyone's weekly ads and this particular store, Food Lion, actually, had the most things on sale that I needed. Maddux wandered along with me and asked about 400 thought provoking questions. Why do onions come in so many colors? Why are peaches fuzzy? Why do the fish still have eyeballs if someone is going to eat them? (Why do they leave the eyeballs in?)

As we ended our tour through the fruit and vegetables we came upon the locally grown zucchini and squash. I needed zucchini for the zucchini bread that I am going to bake this week, so I started to grab some. Maddux was more intrigued by the tiny yellow squash.

Maddux: (as he picks up a very bendy looking squash) Mommy, what are these?
Me: Squash.
- he then proceeds to drop the squash like it is on fire and he runs around and hides behind the grocery cart-
Me: (looking mildly stunned by his reaction) What is wrong with you?
Maddux: I don't want to get squashed!
Me: By what?
Maddux: You told it to squash me!!
- The guy stocking the bananas is audibly laughing-
Me: No, actually it is called squash. It wasn't a command.
Maddux: Oh. Can we have it for dinner?

I doubt that is an effective way to get the kid to eat his vegetables.

Priorities to look for in a man...

(conversation this morning)

Me: (as I am sorting out laundry) Did you have any issues with the bow on your new shirt?
Breuklyn: No. My boyfriend tied it for me when it came undone.

-Silence-

Me: Um, hello? You have a boyfriend?
Breuklyn: Yes. His name is Cold.
Me: Doubtful.
Breuklyn: No, his name is Cold. I asked him.
Me: Cole?
Breuklyn: Yes, Cold, that's what I said.

-Thoroughly at a loss as to where the conversation goes now-

Me: So... you like Cold, I mean, Cole?
Breuklyn: Um, yes! I told you, he can tie bows. That is amazing.
Me: I guess that would be a big deal.
Breuklyn: He is very amazing. But he doesn't have any hair.
Me: No hair?
Breuklyn: No. None. (looking thoughtful) It is kinda weird, but he can tie bows.
Me: It sounds like a tough decision for you. Good luck with that.

You say TomAto, I say TomAHto

Actually, I say tomato, but that is beside the point.

Conversation with Maddux at Sonic, where all the happiest of drinks live:

Me: So, Maddux, how is your Grape Slush? It is everything you hoped for and more?
Maddux: Yes! What are you drinking?
Me: (I lift up my Route 44 Diet Coke, which is absolutely ginormous) A drink, just like you, see?
Maddux: (His mouth drops open) Holy whack-a-moly mom! That drink is Be-Fungus!!
Me: Um... be-fungus? Is that anything like humongous?
Maddux: Yeah, be-fungus. That's what I said.