Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Breaking The Silence...

I really wish that I could write something beautiful and meaningful about Nan. I wish that I could explain clearly how lost I feel without her.

But I can't.

It hurts. It hurts and I cry. And I don't cry in a delicate pretty kind of way. It's ugly.

Instead, I will tell you that Maddux survived his first 2 months of Kindergarten.

After a few weeks of him absolutely hating Kindergarten, he has adjusted happily. I am so very grateful that I no longer hear choruses of please don't make me go! as he would climb out of the car and then attach himself to my side view mirror in the drop-off line. Nothing says amazing parenting like rolling down the window and threatening one's child with impending doom if they don't let go of that mirror this very instant.

Second grade has brought new happiness to my sweet Breuklyn. She is making new friends and we are battling through her difficulties with reading. This year is going to be good for her.

I can also tell you that Paizlee started ballet last week. She has since spent the majority of her days spinning. And I mean that most literally. I have to say that a class full of 3-year-olds learning ballet is definitely enough cuteness to make me happy for the rest of the day.

We have lots of goals set for October. I am happy to report that many of them involve pumpkins and liberal amounts of cinnamon. I am hoping that my absolute favorite time of year will soothe my battered soul. I believe that it will.

18 comments:

Melissa W. said...

So glad to see you back and blogging. You've been in my prayers for months now. It really never gets easier. You just learn how to work with the empty hole your Nan has left. *hugs*

Jenny said...

think of you often. happy to see you back.

Patrizzia said...

A million hugs to you my dear friend. I wish I could give you my shoulder in person. Please know that I think of you often and I hope your heart can start to heal a bit.

Jessica Harrington said...

thinking of you.
we all miss your online presence...
:)

<3

heidi said...

Welcome back.

((((hugs))))

Frances said...

I've missed you Estee. Your babies are just the cutest...thinking of you! ;)

Michelle said...

Oh sweet friend...how I wish there was something I could do to ease your pain!!! You are thought of often!! It is so good to see those three little faces again!!! Gosh they have grown up alot!! Lots of hugs to you!!!

Sara Zenger said...

I have thought of you often and have missed your blog! Your kids are adorable! As my blog says 'Do one thing everyday that makes you happy. Take care of yourself!

Heather Landry said...

I've missed you Estee and I'm keeping you and your family in my prayers! Your photos of the kids are beautiful as always. I was glad to see that you updated!

MommaSaid said...

You and your family have been in my thoughts for months. I will continue to keep you in my prayers. Wishing that your October brings you all the joy and peace you deserve.

julie.schellin said...

welcome back - sure have missed your posts

let the healing begin <3

Kelsey and Tyler said...

Hey Miss E! Glad to read your words again... they're good medicine ;-P Love and Hugs - Kelsey

Beverly said...

Feel my Cyber hugs coming you way! Loss stinks! Glad to see you back blogging and I wish you luck in finding happiness in the small things!

McChesney's said...

Missed you!

{Sarah} said...

Soooo glad you took a second to check in, I've missed reading your blog. Thinking of you always (((hugs)))

BB said...

Estee, so so glad to see you back. I've missed you!

Carmen O. said...

I've been thinking about you lots and am so glad to see you blogging again. Soon I hope to also. So many changes in my life....

Amanda Sevall said...

So happy to see you back Estee. So sorry for your loss.